Yes, I know, the campaign of 2008 seems like it’s been going on forever but have you noticed that one thing has been missing? There haven’t been any political bumper stickers. Well, not yet, at least. But all that may change soon. The Democrat Senatorial Campaign Committee is asking for suggestions for a bumper sticker slogan that will carry it through the 2008 campaign.

Democrat pit bull adviser James Carville, said “what we need is a turn of phrase that really jumps out at you and tells you right off the bat what this election is all about. Wait a minute. I thought the Democrats had all the answers. Why are they asking the public for help? If they’ve got problems coming up with a bumper sticker slogan, what other kind of problems do they have?

Well, to be fair, they have come up with four slogans and, folks, these are really lame. The DSCC so far has come up with such catchy, memorable slogans as “W is Out: Send the Right Wing With Him.” Doesn’t that just thrill you? What about “No Republicans Left Behind in Washington.”? Or, “What Have Republicans Done For You Lately? ” And the final candidate for a bumper sticker slogan ought to take your breath away. It’s “2006 Was Just The Beginning. More Democrats in ’08.”

Aren’t those pathetic? I can see why they’re asking for help. Their bumper sticker slogans are even weaker than their legislative ideas. So if they come out with one of these slogans, what can true Americans do to counter? We start our own bumper sticker slogans. But these not only have to be more clever they also have to be truthful. Well, after consulting with the KIML creative department, I’d like to offer our own set of bumper sticker slogans to counter the Democrats and their culturally uplifting blitz.

What about “Stop Global Warming. Shut up a Democrat.”? Or you could have “Think You’re Broke Now? Wait Till The Democrats Take Over. ” Maybe this one suits your fancy, “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Democrat”. I like this one. “Confuse a Democrat. Say Something Logical.” And there’s this one, “Vote Democrat And See What You Get For Taxation WITH Representation.”

I’m about out of time here but I want to offer one more, one that’s short and to the point and would fit nicely on a bumper sticker and could be seen easily. Imagine you’re driving and you come up behind a car with a bumper sticker on it that says, “Here Come The Democrats. America, Bend Over.”

You’ve got to love the limousine liberals because of the entertaining instances of hypocrisy they display at almost every turn. First, you’ve got Al Gore, telling us we’ve got to use less energy because that’s causing global warming while he lives in a mausoleum in Tennessee with a $1300 a month power bill.

Then you’ve got Nancy Pelosi with her crusade to increase the minimum wage everywhere with the exception of American Samoa where there’s a tuna canning operation whose corporate headquarters just happen to be in Nancy’s Congressional district in San Francisco and contributed heavily to her campaign. I don’t have time to go into more examples, of which there are many but I do want to give you the latest one. And it concerns, Mr. $1200 haircut, the pretty boy ambulance chaser, John Edwards.

In fact, we’ve got two examples that show how, when it comes to hypocrisy, Edwards has raised the bar beyond even Al Gore. I bet you didn’t think that was possible, but he’s done it. In his much touted concern for the poor in America, Edwards has railed against subprime mortgage lenders, especially those who have foreclosed on mortgages on the homes of victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Well, now we find that Edwards has about $16 million invested in a company called Fortress Investment Group, one of the leading foreclosers of mortgages on Katrina victims. During a visit to New Orleans, Edwards said these companies shameful lending practices threaten millions of homeowners. In Cleveland, he said, “these people have been taken advantage of. ” And Fortress has foreclosed on four mortgages in Cleveland.

From 2005 to 2006, Edwards worked for Fortress and was paid $479, 512. And that was just for part time work. Nice work if you can get it. And guess who the biggest contributors are to the Edwards campaign? So far he’s received over $150,000 from the employees of Fortress Investment Group. Well, so much for his credibility. And that’s not all.

Edwards was all over Hillary’s case about accepting a $20,000 in donations from Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp, owners of the Fox News Channel because he says Fox has a right wing bias and should be avoided. Yet, though, he accepts a $500,000 advance from Harper Collins Publishers for a book he’s written. Oh, by the way, just for the record, Harper Collins is owned by News Corp. as well. As I said, you’ve got to love those limousine liberals.

Just when you thought America was safe from one of its whiniest politicians, lo and behold, he appears again. Ralph Nader, the presidential candidate of the REALLY demented, has come back on the scene to complain about a perfectly legal deal between General Motors and several American conservative talk show hosts, including Rush Limbaugh.

Here’s the deal. GM wanted to advertise on several American talk shows. So they worked a deal for sponsorship of the programs, including loaning the hosts GM cars to drive in return for the hosts doing live commercial endorsing the cars. Nutso Nader says this violates sponsorship rules of the FCC. Of course, as with all liberal charges of impropriety, he uses no examples of any violation of the rules. In fact, as a veteran of many years in the broadcast business, I can tell you that NO rules were violated.

The rules state that if you receive any sponsor’s product in return for advertising, you must say so on the air. Well, on May 2nd, Rush, on his program, told listeners, and I quote “we have a brand new sponsor, General Motors. GM has dropped off a car for us and we’re going to have it for about a month and we’re going to drive it. ” Okay, that’s it. The rules were followed.

But does this satisfy Nutso Nader? Of course not! Ralphie boy doesn’t like the automobile industry anyway so there’s really nothing they or the hosts who got the cars to drive could do to keep him from whining and moaning. And besides, Ridiculous Ralph doesn’t think broadcast stations should carry advertising anyway. Excuse me, not carry advertising?

How does this idiot think we make money, have begathons and sell those stupid tote bags and get taxpayer funding like NPR, National Panhandling Radio? And don’t kid yourself. PBS does commercials. How many times have you heard, “the following program is made possible by a grant from the so-and-so corporation. ” Wait, they’re SUPPOSED to be non-commercial but they accept these so-called “grants”. Now…who’s violating the rules?

At any rate, Ralph Nader, who doesn’t have a clue as to how the real world works, is complaining about a business transaction that’s perfectly legal. All the rules have been followed. But the deal promotes cars and Ralphie boy doesn’t like cars. They’re a symbol of capitalist decadence to America’s most celebrated ambulance chaser. Oh, please, cut me some slack here.

The Democrats are the party of negativity, pessimism, and gloom and doom. That’s their stock in trade, bad news. If it’s good news, the Democrats are up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle. And they have no qualms about embellishing the news to make it bad just so they can maintain their dark cloud over America. Take the war in Iraq, for example. They want to see America lose.

Well, now that the troop surge appears to be working with the number of attacks by the subhuman terrorists in that country down and General Patreus showing optimism, what do the Democrats do? They’re saying that Patreus is lying just to put a positive spin on the war. In a rare moment of honesty for a Democrat, South Carolina congressman James Clyburn said that good news about the war would be bad news for the Democrats.

Good news about anything where America’s concerned is bad news for the Democrats. You want another example? Okay, there’s the big global warming hoax. The Democrats have swallowed this bit of science fiction hook, line, and sinker. Everyday, more and more reputable scientists are saying the global warming scare is phony but what do the Democrats do? They say that scientific facts are not important.

They’ve got the pipeline to all knowledge and with their heads planted firmly where there’s no sunshine, they dismiss any facts contradictory to their position as insignificant. The Democrats say that Americans are making too much money and we need to be penalized with higher taxes so the government can balance the budget and pay for their lame brained socialist programs.

But last year, WITH tax cuts, the amount of money going to the government hit an all time high, 2.12 trillion dollars. Mmmm, they’ve been awfully quiet about that because there’s no way they can justify their position on taxes. They still cling to that old, tired and disproven, “tax cuts are just for the rich” class warfare cry. That’s so…last century. Ronald Reagan, as president, won the presidency twice by fostering a spirit of optimism that had Americans believing they could achieve greatness.

And they did. Of course, Reagan wasn’t a Democrat or he’d have been unceremoniously drummed out of the party. If Mission: Impossible ever comes back to television, I can see the IM force’s first assignment. Find something optimistic a Democrat has said.